HEALED: 40 YEARS OF TRAUMATIZING NIGHTMARES! And Seeing into the Unseen Realm

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At the very least it revealed some sort of spiritual connection across the miles.

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Seeing into the Unseen Realm.

The terrifying nightmares started for me when I was about 4 or 5 years old when we moved to a wonderful 75-acre piece of property in central BC, where Dad had built us a small house, just big enough to squeeze in all eleven of us. I loved my family and am eternally grateful for growing up surrounded by nature, in a seemingly endless playground full of adventure and interesting creatures, both wild and domesticated. Unfortunately, like my brother and sister, I was affected by dad's alcohol consumption and the turbulence in my parents' relationship which, at times, threatened to break. I also experienced some sexual abuse on the part of an elder relative, of which my father was not told out of my mom's concern for what his reaction might be. I went unaware until about the age of 30 that Mom had dealt with the perpetrator; and I had been instructed to avoid the man, so I grew up believing that it was up to me to protect myself and that I was somehow at fault. So, yes, there were psychological causes for my traumatic dreams, but over time I became convinced that there was also a dark spiritual influence involved.

The earliest night terrors I recall were recurring dreams of men in suits who came to our door with brown paper packages. Inside side each wrapper was a bomb: one for each member of the family, intended to kill us all. For some reason, the biggest one was always for me. Comical as it may sound to an adult at a distance, it was terrifying to my young mind, and I would wake up inconsolable. Mom would have to get me out of bed and show me around the house to convince me that it wasn't real.

As years passed, other dreams developed. Often, I would find myself on my belly in the gravelly dirt, trying hopelessly to crawl up the driveway hill with vicious, snarling dogs snapping at my feet and I slipping closer and closer to the edge of a steep bank--expecting soon to fall off. Again, I'd awake in heart-pounding fear. Other times I would be on a town bridge over a river. My shoe would fall off and as I reached for it, I would suddenly be over the railing and falling head-first toward the dark, rushing waters below. As I grew into adulthood, my nightmares often had a pattern of beginning with a peaceful scene, such as a brown cow grazing gently in a green pasture, but as I stood watching, the animal would suddenly morph into a gigantic, raging monstrosity charging toward me and then be immediately right in front of my face, and I'd be defenseless and unable to escape. I'd awake unable to move for moments and then get up and reorient myself and hopefully get back to sleep. The dreams were not every night but were often enough that I accepted them as just part of who I was and believed there was nothing I could do about them.

When I was about 20 years old, I started to experience mild waves of depression but still had a zest for life most of the time. By then I had broken off an unhappy relationship, and then at about 22, I moved from my hometown to Kelowna, B.C. A few years later, having previously invited God to come in and help me do life, I had a stunning, unforgettable dream. In it, I was a child playing alone on the ground amongst the trees behind our old house. I looked up to see, heading for our home, a magnificent, glowing orange and black tiger walking calmly and silently on the air about two inches off the ground; it had a supernatural, sparkle, but, in spite of the incredible beauty, something about it was terrifying! I instantly knew that it had evil intentions, so I jumped up and ran ahead to the house to warn the family. I rushed in and shouted, "Lock the door, close the windows!! It's coming to kill us!" But everyone ignored me. They kept going about their business, wiping the table, sweeping the floor, preparing food, barely giving me a glance. And I woke up.

The dream was strange enough in and of itself, but then something even stranger happened. That winter, at our annual family Christmas gathering, while we sat in the kitchen late in the evening catching up with each other's lives, I shared my dream. Surprised, my brother Gary, with a puzzled look on his face, said he had had the exact same dream somewhere around the same time, except that he was the one that ran to the house to warn the family that the deadly attack was coming! I think it's important to note that we lived in different cities, he in Kamloops and I in Kelowna. Furthermore, in those days we were not keeping in touch with each other. We had no recent shared experience affecting our dreams, and had barely spoken to each other in the months before the dream. There was no practical explanation. At the very least it revealed some sort of spiritual connection across the miles.

This event was my first clue that dreams at times for particular people may be much more than just one's brain sorting out and trying to make sense of the events of any given day. Perhaps it was a warning or a clue, and we should have prayed into it. Unfortunately, we did not. I was a skeptic regarding God's involvement in my life, and so decades passed before I received my miracle of deliverance from the tormenting nightmares.

Forty Years of Traumatizing Nightmares--Ended.

More years passed, and the vivid, all too real nightmares continued to traumatize me and rob me of sleep in the middle of the night. Unfortunately, my spiritual awakening, though real, was not extremely deep. After a number of years, I noticed that there often seemed to be a connection between stressful times and the nightmares, but this knowledge did not do anything to help relieve them.

After a life changing, eye opening spiritual encounter at a prayer meeting in Kelowna, I left my job and moved to Burnaby with 2 years' worth of university transfer courses completed and resumed my education at S.F.U. Several years later, my hunger for a true and living God had led me to seek out people and places where the Spirit of God seemed to be at work giving people victory over damaging issues in their lives. I absolutely loved the Vancouver area and being near the ocean, but my life just wasn't what I knew it should be and my search for more personal freedom and peace eventually led me to some action in Abbotsford. For about a year, my friends and I visited "revival" meetings there, and I saw some wonderful healings and had another revealing spiritual encounter with God. I will share about these encounters at another time. Right now, I'd like to get to the specific miracle of rescue.

Simply put, much of what I was seeing and hearing at meetings and in conversations with recipients of God's supernatural touch was causing me to believe that God could and would do something for me, not as a reward for anything that I had done, but just because of His infinite, supernatural love for me. Why me? Only because I am one individual in the world full of unique individuals whom He loves regardless of race, color, creed, religion or sin or anything else that could be named as a disqualification.

I heard many times and read about spiritual armor that I could put on and an undefeatable spiritual weapon that I could use: the Sword of the Spirit, otherwise known as the Word of God, a book full of God's words that are "alive and active". I learned that, used with sincere faith in the Son of God--Jesus, the Sword of the Spirit works to defeat my spiritual enemy. After choosing to move to Abbotsford, it took a few years for me to decide to use the Sword, but finally I did.

When I was about 42, it finally occurred to me that the nightmares were not normal and were probably not "just me". Deeply ingrained beliefs die hard and often require a firm, persistent commitment in order to finally experience the miracle of a renewed and healed mind! At that point in time, I decided that whenever I woke from a nightmare, I would pick up my Sword/Bible and use it. So, my battle began.

At first, all that would happen was that I would feel better after speaking aloud the words of Jesus and words about Jesus to whatever may be listening in the spirit realm. Peace would come and I would go back to sleep. After a few months something new happened. I woke up in extreme fear again, sat up and turned on the light. My cat at the time, who slept on my bed with me, hopped down to the floor and crouched, staring under the bed and growling. Yes, growling, like a small dog. I only recall ever hearing him do that one other time when I was carrying him past a shrub near a park, where I had been walking him on a leash; and then another cat stepped out from hiding in the shrub after we passed by. I lived on the second floor of an apartment building, and there was only about 3 inches of space under the edge of my narrow bed. Nobody could get under there. There were no stray cats under my bed, and Kimchi would not growl at a bug; he would be attacking it. (He saved me from a huge spider one time!) Anyway! Crazy as it was, I did not feel worried, and I read more of the Powerful Words out loud again. After a few minutes, Kimchi seemed to be watching something invisible rise up from my bed area and drift toward the window and out, then, nothing. He was now peaceful, and so was I. And most importantly, now I knew for sure that I was onto something. Something sinister and invisible had been exposed. Kimchi never did that again.

I can't remember the exact time frame, but it was approximately one year of contending for my freedom when, one night, I dreamed that I was looking down into a deep, rugged shadowy ravine. I was horrified to see that down below were two giant black bears, each one about as big as a two school buses. Giant! They were on their way up the hill toward me, and of course I was their prey. However, this time, about a dozen men in search and rescue uniforms rushed in from out of nowhere, and I immediately knew they were more than human. I could sense a wonderful angelic presence about them, and they were just suddenly there. I believe they were angels. They rapidly carried cages and threw them over the bears and that was it--done! I have never, after many more years, ever had another one of those paralyzing night terrors. None, despite having many stressful situations that could have brought one on.

The next night, I dreamed I was in a new, cleanly swept barn with open rafters. So clean and so fresh. I lay peacefully on the boards near the roof, overwhelmed, saturated with utter joy; below me on the smooth wooden floor ballroom dancers in gowns and suits gracefully stepped and swirled in the warm, soft lighting. How many years had it been since I had had a happy dream? It seemed like my whole life. I only remembered fear. I never wanted the moment or the feeling to end. It was so sweet, so delicious, so complete. And again, it seemed to me that I was observing angels, that I was being given a peek into the spiritual realm. Perhaps a celebration for another victory won? I think so.