CURED OF AN EXTREME FEAR OF FLYING

I didn't always have a fear of flying. When I was 28, I flew from Kelowna, BC to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico with two friends from the office to holiday for two weeks--no thoughts of crashing, only the excitement of being on a trip with my friends. About a year and a half later, I left that job and returned to school for two years to complete a B.A. which I had been gradually working on at the local college in the evenings. I became a broke university student, but it was a wonderful time, followed by years of being a low income English tutor. I had no spare cash for airfare, time flew by, and I didn't have a strong enough interest in travel to prioritize it. During that time, I was treated once by a rich ESL student with a flight to Korea, shortly before the 2008 IMF crisis. Still no fear of flying. But somehow it crept in, or perhaps "slithered in" might be a more accurate description? I don't know when it started; I just know that one day, there it was. In 2011, I was gifted a trip with my two older sisters and their friend to Nashville and Memphis. I went with a great deal of fear, but it helped that I was not alone; still on one of those flights the turbulence was so bad that it looked as if the plane was going be ripped to pieces. That did NOT help.

The problem became most evident several years after my younger sister Marni got married and moved to Saskatchewan. Tragically and suddenly, Mom, whom I usually spent Christmas with, had passed away a few years before, and Marni invited me to fly over for the season's traditional dinner and gatherings. Immediately, danger loomed up in my mind and glared at me--I was overwhelmed with tremendous anxiety. I felt it was impossible to board an airplane, even though I would have loved to spend Christmas with her and her family. I had driven alone in the summer once and also with Mom once at Christmastime: a long, tiring trip, approximately 18 hours, crossing two and a half provinces, requiring a sleepover in Alberta at the mid-way point. I wasn't up for that drive again anytime soon. (The long hours alone, sitting behind the wheel made me feel almost delirious at times!) And to top it off, the person I had stayed with on my solo trip was no longer there.

I fearfully declined the invitation, and the season came and went a couple of times, but she asked again. I felt embarrassed at the thought of excusing myself another time but reasoned that it was more than I could afford. Longing for family to be at her house for the season, my sis' offered to pay for the flight. That pushed me over the edge to accept, but I was overcome with dread at the thought of sitting helplessly out of control, flying through the air. How was I going to manage my emotions to accomplish this? I didn't know. I had heard too many horrifying stories of crashes with few to zero survivors. Images of a jacket, a solitary boot, a child's toy, a suitcase floating amongst wreckage on dark, frigid, pitiless seawater hung in my mind. There was no ocean between us, but then a story of a broken, bent and smoldering fuselage on a frozen mountainside would press in. Facts about the many things that could go wrong with a pilot, an engine, mechanical wings--tormented me! The closer the flight date came, the more I stressed and lost sleep. But I had made the commitment, the money was spent, and I wasn't about to back out.

The day came, all too soon in my opinion at the time, and, already exhausted, I got out of bed at 3 a.m. to catch the "red-eye". I sat waiting for take-off, terrified but so sleep-deprived that, mercifully, shortly after the plane took off in the dark, I fell asleep! The offer of a snack woke me and I immediately began to fear the landing. In extreme trepidation I made it to Calgary, transferred and went on to Saskatoon. Marni noticed my visible stress from about a hundred feet away in the airport, and I knew I wouldn't really be able to relax until I was safely back home.

About five days later, after a lovely Christmas, it was time to board again! Alarms were going off in my brain and body. Fatigued again from so much wasted energy, I knew that if I lived, it would be many years before I flew anywhere again, if ever! But then--GOD INTERVENED.

This may not sound like a miracle to some, but when you think about the incredible timing and arranging and re-arranging of circumstances which occurred, you must admit that Someone graciously organized a huge favor for me in order to break me free from this life-hindering bondage.

Against my will, I boarded and took my seat, which, unfortunately, was next to a window. At every hint of the slightest motion outside, my nerves jumped, and I sucked in my breath and stared anxiously out at the tarmac and wing, only to realize I was mistaken, that we were not yet taking off. In the meantime a man had taken the seat next to me and was quietly observing my neurotic reactions.

The first point to note is that this man was booked in a different seat several rows up closer to the front. It turned out that a pregnant lady was booked to sit beside me, but for medical (I think) reasons the attendants had asked the fellow if he could possibly trade places with her, maybe so she could be closer to the washroom? Maybe it was smoother up there? Maybe they could more quickly be of help to her if needed? I don't know. I believe someone said the reason, but I was too preoccupied with my own issues to actually let it register!

The second and even bigger "coincidence", was that this gentleman was a pastor. Not only a pastor but one who lived in Calgary and had been invited to Saskatoon for that particular weekend to preach. And what sermon had he prepared for this exact time? A MESSAGE ABOUT FEAR: ITS CAUSES AND ITS SOLUTIONS. Now, think (if you will) about that for a moment; I know that bookings such as this are done sometimes many months in advance; then a speaker usually spends about a week, sometimes much more, praying and preparing the message--sometimes switching the theme at the last minute due to the leading of God's Spirit. Schedules are set up, tickets purchased--also possibly months before. Or perhaps it happened suddenly, an urgent call for help by a church in Saskatoon (I wish I had asked). Simultaneously, I was in Abbotsford praying but still anxious, preparing to leave my comfort zone. I believe God was, all the while, kindly lining up a person to intersect my path and bring a message custom-designed to fit my need, and no seating plan was going to throw off His plan...because God does things like that and has been doing for thousands of years. You can find examples recorded in ancient scriptures.

This pastor gently interrupted my racing thoughts, politely tested the waters, and then with compassion briefly began to lay out the 3 points of his sermon on fear. Unfortunately, I can now only recall 2 of them, but I could add a third! Haha. It would be great to speak with this gentleman again now, years later.

First, he assured me, in different words, that I was not crazy--we were, after all, sitting "in a chair" 34,000 feet above the ground, flying at high speeds. This could be a cause for great concern! But, he informed me, studies show that this kind of fear is often due to lack of knowledge. For instance, he asked, did I know that approximately 500 flights go in and out of the Calgary airport (where we would be landing) every day, about 67,000 people coming and going--daily--and no one had ever been killed there? (As I research it now, I see in 1984 an engine caught fire preparing for take-off and 27 people got injured, but there were no fatalities--one incident 42 years ago, and it wasn't a plane falling out of the sky!) He told me that he had flown plenty of times in and out of Calgary, and there was always rough turbulence going in, so I didn't need to panic when it started to happen--it was normal and there had never been a crash landing there. (It would NOT have helped to say that "more people get killed in car accidents". I had heard that numerous times before and it did nothing for me. An airplane that has lost engine power mid-flight is a whole different scenario.)

The shared information alone began to calm me; my fellow passenger went on to talk about another reason, which I have forgotten, and ended with the spiritual aspect of fear. There is a world of spiritual activity going on around us all the time, and according to scripture, people are sometimes slyly oppressed and manipulated by malicious spirits. {See my earliest posts about my brother Gary: From first post "It all starts Somewhere" through to the 5th one "Free at Last! The Voices of Schizophrenia Get the Boot". There was a strong possibility that I was being affected by a "spirit of fear" and that I needed to fight back (as I have now learned to do) in the Name of Jesus and with the authority He gives us when we believe in Him. As a side note, throughout my life, fear of death was clearly something I had to deal with, [Refer to my post "Healed: Forty Years of Traumatizing Nightmares" describing my deliverance out of paralyzing nightmares that always involved death] and I have learned that it's our weaknesses that Satan uses like an open door to enter our lives intending to hinder and ultimately destroy us. Furthermore, impactful and painful events, I am told, can also make a way in for demonic entities, and I had plenty of those. In that type of case, medication (which I chose to avoid) and counselling can sometimes help a certain amount, but cannot truly set a person free. A spiritual battle requires Spiritual Force available only through the supernatural power of Jesus Christ. I am so thankful to know Him.

Something changed that day, and this most recent Christmas (2025), I took my first overseas flight to visit one of my sisters and her family and do some touring in Australia! While there, my brother-in-law arranged a tour up north of Perth to Broome, which meant two extra flights! So, between December 3 and January 3, I flew 6 times. Fear crossed my mind but was whisked away without much effort, and I can sincerely say that I have no more time for this fear. I believe it's been knocked out of me! Life is too short, goes too quickly. I am not sure where my next air travel will take me, but, Lord willing, I will definitely do it again. Of course, I will always pray for protection in Jesus Name, whether I'm on a local bicycle ride or a long-haul international route on a Boeing 787 Dreamliner--that one sounds nice! Hmm...maybe a bit too pricy. LOL!